The BEST job that I have ever had, was working at a campground in the summers when I was in University. I could wear whatever I wanted, customer abuse was not only tolerated, but encouraged, and I got paid a pretty decent wage to do very little. The BEST part of this job was all of the interesting people that I got to meet from all over the world. I have compiled a list of FAQ's that I commonly encountered, I hope you enjoy!
Q: Is that in American dollars?
A: I'm not sure, let me check my GPS and see what country we are currently in... hmmm.... just as I suspected, we are in Canada, in that case you will need to go to the airport and change all of your money into Yen, your campsite will cost 375,000 Yen.
Q: How do I get there?
A: Well if you can tell me where you are coming from I can give you directions
Caller: We are at McDonalds
Me: Which one?
Caller: There is a video store across the street
Me: Congratulations you have found THE elusive Calgary McDonalds, however sir, I still have no idea where the hell you are coming from
Me: Calgary West Campground, Rachel speaking...
Caller: Is this the Calgary West Campground?
Me: No sir, this is Pizza Hut, we just like to confuse our callers
Q: What kind of facilities do you have for swimming?
A: A private ocean, a lake, a jacuzzi on each individual campsite, and oh yes, A POOL!
Q: Do you have cable TV?
A: No
Q: What kind of campground is this?
A: An awesome one...
Q: Are your prices in dollars or in Canadian money?
A: They are in Canadian dollars
Q: Oh you guys call your money dollars too?
A: Yes genius, that's correct
Q: Can I make a reservation?
A: Most likely, if you tell me what day
Caller: We don't know what day
Q: Can you please give me someone's campsite number?
A: Yes, what is their name? and when are they set to arrive?
Caller: I don't know, they are from Medicine Hat
Q: Can you give me directions to get to your campground from Nose Hill Drive
A: Certainly, are you heading North or South?
Q: I don't know, I'm not from here
A: Turn left to head west
Q: I don't know, I'm from Manitoba
Q: Excuse me ma'am I can't find the soy cream in your store?
A: That's because we don't sell that hippy shit here
Q: Why wouldn't you sell a staple such as soy cream?
A: Because you are the only person in the Universe who would buy it, and we don't like you...
Q: Are you out of bread?
A: Yes
Q: Where can I find the bread?
A: At a grocery store asshole
Q: Can I make a reservation for Stampede?
A: No, I'm sorry you cannot as all of our reservations are full, however we have left a number of sites to be sold on a first come first serve basis
Q: Can I reserve one of those sites?
Q: Can I make a reservation for Stampede?
A: No, I'm sorry you cannot as all of our reservations are full, however we have left a number of sites to be sold on a first come first serve basis
Caller: But we are from Quebec...
Me: I don't care...
Q: Do you have 50 AMP power?
A: No our highest is 30 AMP
Q: But how am I supposed to run my washer, dryer, microwave, TV and massage chair?
A: You're not... you are CAMPING!
Caller: My name is Dave from Yellowknife... (followed by awkward pause)
Me: Hi Dave how can I help you?
Caller: Yeah... ummm... I'm just calling to let you know we are having some trouble with our RV (awkward chuckles)... blah, blah, blah, explains all of the minor details
Me: Okay so why are you calling?
Caller: Well I just wanted to let you know that we won't be here this afternoon
Me: Did you have a reservation
Caller: No... we just called earlier and inquired about a site, we didn't give our name or anything, but the lady said she'd have a site for us when we arrived, so just wanted to let you know we won't be there in case you were expecting us
Me:............... (overly enthusiastic) AWESOME! Thanks Dave!
Me: _____ Rachel speaking...
Caller: Do you speak French or English?
Me: Hola! como esta usted?
Caller: Which way is it to Baniff?
Me: Head West on Highway 1
Caller: How will we know when we are in the mountains?
Me: awkward silence.... you will hear waves crashing...
Caller: So how do we find you?
Me: Where are you coming from?
Caller: Do we head East or West?
Me: Again that depends on where you are coming from...
Caller: North
Me: Okay well I am going to go ahead and cancel your reservation...
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